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Julia Nicole Lauritzen.
College. Actor. Singer.
This is my blog. Fuck you if you don't like it.
Have a nice day :)

Ugh. 

I hate everything.

Especially stupid useless holidays like mothers day that just make me remember what i don’t have.

And stupid emotions that make me cry harder than a ill tempered child. 

asdfghjkl;
I want my mom and dad here so bad.
I just want them to hold me and whisper that it will be alright.
But its not alright.
 

Do you ever hold back your tears for so long.
You just have this thought in your head all day.
And then suddenly someone asks you about it.
And as you start to tell them you hear your voice crack.
 You’re eyes start to burn and you get a little watery.
You’ve done so well of holding on.
But then.
The first tear falls down your cheek.
And just like that
All your emotions come crashing through your chest 
And you feel so vulnerable.
But you just can’t stop it? 

I was driving while I crying (which is a horrible horrible thing to do, never do it ever)
And I got a call. I didn’t answer, but I looked to see who it was.
And when I looked up my vision was really blurry but I heard honking.
I tried to focus on the road, and after a few moment I saw I was half way on the other side of the road, a few moments from hitting head on a huge truck, that would have killed me.
I was going 40 in a 25.
I pulled over and stopped crying.
You’d think I’d cry more.
But I didn’t.
I sat there debating on whether I could start driving again.
It took me ten minutes to get myself to do it. 

Crying so badly right now.
I had a great day.

And now my tears stream down my face as I realize:
I’m so upset because my parents aren’t here. And will never see me graduate.

I miss them more than anything in the world right now.

This isn’t fair.

Rest in peace…