fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I don’t want to be apart of your fetish.

I hope you didn’t mean what you said, the way you said it.

“Thats why I like you, because you’re a big girl. I like that in girls.”

I feel worse then I felt before.

I’m not here for you to have fun in your fetish. 
I thought I was more to you than that. 

homicidalmindsandhandguns:

This may not be shocking by itself. But these particular ones she is eating are made with white chocolate. I am seriously losing every ounce of fuck I have for this. That is really really really weird. I do not approve, Reese’s. Why did you make white chocolate versions? It’s freaking weird. 

^my boyfriend is a freak. He’s so bamboozled by this. he just kept saying nopenopenope. haha silly babe.

My body hates me.

I got like 3 hours of sleep Sunday night. Now last night I only got 4 or 5.
Why body D: I know you love sleep… Why must you torture me? :/ 

I can’t tell if I’m a horrible person.

Or if you just fucked me over to much. 

Went to bed feeling worthless.
Woke up feeling worthless.

 

Come to realize
That no matter how hard I try
I will always have a hatred towards you.
I will never trust you.
Or want to be around you.
When I think of you being around him…
Anxiety builds in my chest and
Anger lashes through my bones.

You are filth.
You make me sick.
You can not be trusted.

But… you are apart of my life.
If I choose to have him.
And I have to deal with you.
Your filth. 
Your hate.

Here is the roads I have to in front of me.
To have everything I wanted in one person plus you.
Or end all ties with the one I need most,
So I don’t have to ever think about you again. 

First, it was good. Got my Nightmare Before Christmas car floor mats.
But then i go to leave this morning and everything went to the shitter.

I figured out I forgot somethings I needed for this week.
I got lost, like 3 times.
Then I figure out I don’t have any proof of registration in my car, so if i get pulled over I’m fucked.

Then i get home and complain about my lips being dry, having to pee a lot, and missing my last period.

Apparently I’m either pregnant, have diabetes, cancer, or my livers failing.

Isn’t that just lovely?

Oh, and I really don’t want to go to class. 

asdfghjkl;

asdfgHJKL;

ASDFGHJKL;

i hate myself.

I haaaaate getting jealous. Especially when I feel like I’m getting jealous for a stupid reason. Just seeing something stupid and my insides go crazy with suspicion.  Suddenly for a few moments I question my trust with you, even if you haven’t done anything wrong to me. And I wont let this go I know it. It’ll eat at my mind until I can’t take it anymore and I’ll break, either get mad at you and go off, or crumble into myself with insecurities and cry myself to sleep. I could just ask you about it, and I know what you’ll say. That is nothing. And it’s probably not. And I’ll say I believe you, which most of me will. But there’s still going to be this ounce of doubt in the back of my brain, picking at my anxiety until I have this mental break down. And every time you don’t text me back or look distracted I’ll think you’re up to no good… 

And thats why I hate myself. 

Trying to work out doing my behind the wheel.
I have a appointment. And a car.
But my car isnt insured, can’t get insured on my own until I have my license.  
Can’t take my license test until I’m insured…
Fuuu.
Maybe I can just find a insured car to take the test with…

ahhh I’m stressin. 

I’ve been waiting for this guy to message me back on facebook for my tattoo for a few days now.
And he finally wrote back saying to call him.
All of a sudden I’m now a little scaredy cat afraid to dial the number.

If I was calling for someone else I’d be just fine but just because I’m calling for me I get a anxiety filled and shizz.

Why am I so weird D; 

I feel so abandoned by everyone….

I don’t even know why I’m here anymore. 

well……………………………………………….

that really fucking sucks. :/